Mitten
I didn't expect that I would miss my family so much, since I only saw them last year three times, but when I called home last week I almost started crying. I've just been in a low mood this week.
I have somehow acquired a kitten. Matthew warned me not to name him or I'd get too attached. But coming home from the store where I bought litter and kitten food (just until we find a home for it), I called her Mitten, and now the name's stuck in my mind. I don't want a kitten, but she's so helpless and little and all alone, I can't just boot her out. I'm the only one who likes cats in our house, and I'm allergic. Maybe we can find someone to take her. Right now she's living in our foyer, out of the wind but not in the house proper yet. She's staying where the priest's dog stays when she comes over.
The children are harder to get rid of, and break my heart even more. They want to come over and play with us, but I'm so tired after school I often don't feel like it. Some are shuttled around a lot, with grandparents taking over as their kids are lost to drugs or alcohol. We all have a child we want to adopt. But there are some that have wonderful parents too. The sisters and others expect a lot of community involvement from us. Which is good, but this introvert needs lots of time to herself. This is a small town, but there's usually one thing happening each day. Not to mention the time I should be spending learning how to teach kids to read, which I'm not, since it seems like such an insurmountable task.
I always was lonely before in a crowd, but now I'm learning that being far away and all alone really do lead to loneliness too. But I am doing interesting things and someday when I'm all cozy with Matthew the years will slip by like beads on a string and then this one will stand out and I'll savor it.
