Life in the JVC

First week out of JVC

June 16, 2005
I feel so adrift right now. Of course, its only been four days since I've been home. I know I wasn't even in Hays for a year, but this whole suburban lifestyle seems so alien to me now. My mother and sister and I went out for ice cream, and the whole time I was just watching the people there. Everybody White, the men in suits from work and the women in dresses, making small talk with their acquaintances. Will that be me in a few years, spending all my time taking care of my children and talking about the new renovations to my kitchen?

I got my alumni bulletin Sunday, too. In all the class notes, the phrase that seemed to come up time and again was "life is good". And why shouldn't it be? Kenyon alumni are at the tip of the iceberg in wealth and education. But know that I know how the other section of America lives, I don't know how I can be content just living my small life, making money to get more and more comforts. The Jesuit Volunteer Corps has unsettled me. Their motto is "ruined for life". The main article in my alumni bulletin happened to be on Kenyonite who had served in the Peace Corps. One woman said that her years in the Peace Corps made her confident enough to know she could do anything. I don't feel that way. I don't know if the path I've chosen is the right one for me. I'm wigging out!

1:35 a.m.
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