Sad

I feel sad today. One of my residents is really sick and says he wants to die. So we're talking about hospice care, discontinuing his HIV medication and just making his last days more comfortable. He's had this disease since the 80s, so he's had to really have a will to live or he would have died a long time ago. But he's just tired of being in and out of the hospital all the time.

Last week I subbed in as the medical advocate and took the residents to their appointments. It made me realize how sick they really were. I can almost forget about it when we're at home, except for the fact that some of them have to take dozens of pills. The only thing keeping some of them alive is that they are so fierce and strong-willed that they won't let their AIDS destroy them. I'm just sad to see him give up, though I can understand and only begin to realize how much pain and suffering he's going through.