Funky smell in the basement

Warning: this entry not for the weak-stomached

On Friday night, Maureen said it smelled like cheese popcorn in the basement. There are two sections of our basement. One section has the washer and dryer, and then there's a door, and then the really big section, with lots of stuff left over from when our house was a convent ten years ago, big crucifixes, kneelers, lockers with the Sisters' names still in them, an extra refrigerator and freezer, and one room that just has shelves and shelves of empty jars. The Franciscan Sisters grew up during the Depression, and never threw away anything. The new Sisters are Dominican and younger, and they've tossed most things, but haven't gotten to the jar room yet.

It was about midnight, and all four of us decided to go into the basement and see if we could sniff out the source of the funky smell. There's also a big old popcorn maker down there, so it was freaking me out to think that maybe some stranger got it to work. Barb got this look on her face and said "Uh-oh, I think I might know what it is."

"Don't say it!" I shrieked, and started to push her down the hallway. I get more scared when somebody actually says what I'm thinking, which was what if it was a dead body? Hey, it was late, and the convent is a scary place sometimes. We have nuns buried in our backyard, after all.

I noticed a stain in front of the refrigerator, and was trying to remember if it had been there all along. We used the fridge during Thanksgiving, but Maureen unplugged it in December, because we've never had a call to use it since then. We got closer to the refrigerator and saw there was a bit of mold in the freezer. Maureen said that might be the new smell, since she cleaned the fridge before. That's when we noticed the half-gallon of milk on the door of the fridge. Expiration date:November 29th.

I didn't notice it there when I got all the other food out of there at Thanksgiving, and Maureen didn't notice it when she unplugged it. For the past five months, its been quietly curdling and spoiling, and the spell of hot weather we've just had must have made it burst, and it was leaking out of the carton. The milk was translucent, with a yellowish tinge. We didn't open it to get the full smell effect, but got a bunch of plastic bags, wrapped it up and tossed it in the dumpster. Funk found!

So it just goes to show you, that a house of four women can have some really gross past their expiration date food too.