Everyone and everything should work to benefit me

It was raining earlier today, so I was faced with a choice; which pleasure would be greater: letting the rain fall on me, wearing my trench coat that used to be my mother�s, or taking an umbrella. They�re all good options. I finally decided to take an umbrella just in case the rain got worse and let the rain fall on me.

I called my friend Daniel the other day. He�s one of the few people in my life that I knew at once I was destined to become his friend. He graduated from Kenyon the year before I got here, and I met him when he was visiting his girlfriend my freshman year. He told me that life really does get better once you�re out of college. I�m glad. I was telling him about how I didn�t like being an RA and felt I did a bad job of it. If I wasn�t an RA or the leader of Newman, I could just have a single somewhere and stay in my shell, only coming out for classes. He told me that maybe that was why it was a good thing I was an RA, that maybe it was to benefit me more than the freshmen. I know that if I didn�t have that responsibility last year, I would have dropped out. And it�s not like I drink with my residents or ignore them. I�m just not like some of the other RAs, who are wonderful kind warm people. But I was never like that, so I shouldn�t expect this position to change that about me.

My ex James came by last night. This is getting confusing. I�m going to refer to him as James the Lesser, because that amuses me. Amy told me about a church she saw which was called �St. James the Less Catholic Church�. �It all depends on where you put the emphasis,� she said. Anyway, he came by and asked to come in, and I told him I was working on my comps and didn�t have time to chat. He said I could spare five minutes. The first words out of my mouth were �So why are you being such a jerk?�

He strenuously objected and said he wasn�t being a jerk, or at least he didn�t mean to be one. �You�re not the nicest person in the world yourself, you know.� He said. Which is true. I don�t think anybody would describe me as kind. I�m not proud of that, but there it is. So we have come to a sort of reconciliation, which is good.

James the Greater�s ex-girlfriend Megan the Lesser, I�m not so sure about. She always cuts me with a withering glare every time I see her, and I have to have the Classics senior seminar with her next semester. I was never a friend with her or anything, but I liked sitting next to her in our history classes and joking around, and now she�s in a snit.