Allstu rant

Not many are left who remember this now, but I was involved in one of the biggest allstu scandals to hit Kenyon. It all seems so innocent now. Some people kept stealing the markers from our whiteboards in Lower Lewis, so Dr. Rose convinced almost everyone in our hall to send an allstu complaining about it. We only had 16 people to begin with, and Kate and I didn�t send any, but then in snowballed. People replied in allstu form, complaining about the freshman brats. This was back in the days of the VAX, best beloved, so the VAXphiles had lots of problems with their accounts because of the amount of the mail. So, they took away the allstu. From everyone, but it really only affected freshmen who weren�t on the VAX. I think it lasted for about a semester. Since then we�ve had many allstu battles, but you know, what I really think was missing was a stupid religious debate.

So, now this really distasteful allstu battle is going on. Someone sent out an allstu Wednesday afternoon; �If you have not been saved, we are planning a mass baptism to save all of our souls. If you would like to prevent eternal damnation and ascend to glorious heaven after death, then you should consider saving your soul. Please contact us if you are interested in soul preservation.� It�s obviously a joke. Then Dan sent out an allstu; �If you have been saved, we are planning a mass unbaptism to damn us all to hell. If you would to prevent ascending to glorious heaven after death and ensure an eternal damnation, then you should consider unbaptism. Please contact us if you are interested in screwing over your soul for all eternity.� Still pretty funny. But it didn�t stop there, oh no. It became a religious battle. Christians aren�t going to take these potshots kindly, and then the atheists are going to have their point proven about how the Christians have no sense of humor. There have been 42 allstus sent about this in the last 12 hours. I hate that. People think they can get away with the grossest slander and abuse if it�s ironic. You can be funny about religion. The Onion does it all the time, but just insulting people is different. If we all read Miss Manners, this wouldn�t have happened. Religion is not something that should be discussed with acquaintances because of the grand passions it generates (some Christians believe that they must spread the gospel to everyone they meet. I respect that, but there is a polite way of going about that too, and it does not involve mass e-mails) I�ve been going a little crazy too. I won�t send an allstu, but I keep personally replying to them. I figure if all 1500 people personally reply to annoying allstus, then the pleasure in sending them will decrease. And some I just replied to because I knew the people or I thought they made a good point. One guy, who said that the only one who really cares about this issue are the dogmatic (believer or atheist), and we should just let them fight it out. So of course I had to reply to that, saying �Have you ever heard of The Ball and the Cross?" So I've worked in a Chesterton link, so it's not a total waste of entry.

One guy sent a silly allstu, so I sent a silly response (his name is Liam too). Then he forwarded my message as an allstu. I don�t feel that my private correspondence should be abused like that. Granted, it was two words; �your mother�, but still. I would e-mail him again complaining, but then he�d just allstu it again. So I am just complaining here.